Since coming earth-side... i was very aware of being a spirit in a human body. i didn't realize it at the time, but I saw the energy behind the physical.... the interconnection and interrelation between the physical world and the realms interwoven with Spirit & Cosmos.
I thought that everyone was able to "see" these energy currents and when there was harmony (the frequency flow of natural state) and disharmony (when the energy was fractured/torn or blocked).
From a young age i was threatened by religious leaders for how i saw and understood life. I witnessed the energy of struggle for power & control over others trying to place every single person and the earth through the lens and possibility of only one true narrative.
Enforcing to posit there was someone, a translator between God/Love/worthiness/acceptance and another person, that determined if they fit into the right boxes to receive or deserve it.
Yet i also witnessed the vastness of all of the colors, the creatures.. the boundless varieties of the same species, the plants, the minerals, the trees... the infinite different characteristics and the co-creation of the earth from a micro spectrum to a macro universe…
How even the tiniest of details was cared for at the same time of the whole…
naturally carrying forth and creating more and new life through the cycles and rhythms each EACH CARRIES WITHIN...
not from a narration of how it should happen... rather a state of natural being.
Soaking in all of the complexities of eco-systems within eco-systems, within multiverses, within endless realms of energies and frequencies and limitless variations.
The way each energy or Essence by BEing itself.. co-existed and the infinite varieties of life from it..
All of this was pure magick and yet just existing in its natural state to do so.
I saw this was the same natural state of being for humans also..
We too in the limitless varieties & variations are ALL connected to a direct Source of Life force, Innate knowing and co-creation possibilities meant to transpire through our BEing.
An ancient medicine that has been malnourished & lost along the way- that by dropping in to the sacredness of honoring & processing our human experiences, it has the ability to transpire learning, growth, & creation beyond what we've ever seen or known.
That deep inner knowing...
where BEing ourself… lies the alchemy of our Spirit Essence & Human Medicine..
The beauty in the alchemy, is that it is the transformation/transmutation of ALL parts… nothing is added or taken away… rather EVERYTHING integrates and changes form.
As clear as I felt in the Spirit realm all day… a big part of my "work" was about showing up & being present through being human. After continually being imprinted that being myself was not ok.. the last thing i wanted to do was be in my body.
The more I detached my body, the more my spirit disconnected…
The more I tried to ignore my being… the heavier/denser the energy became both inside and around.
Part of the Human medicine was about experiencing the depths of ALL of the feelings to come to my own understanding through experience.
Because there was no one else I could BE except myself...
i realized so much of what I was actually fighting was myself...believing subconsciously that what others had determined for my life was the only scope I was allowed to exist in, even tho the core of my being fought it.
That in order to be here, and even have the right to a voice or place here... I had to not be ME. I was supposed to fit another's version or vision of me.
I know... it sounds silly right? But how deep these fractures exist in our families, structures, religions, societies trying to fit infinite beings inside of a box?
Ancient teachings that are longing to be restored to our knowing…
That in our earth walk… there was going to be some hard shit that would happen.. And those times in our lives were actually meant for us to encounter and learn our own unique, deep medicine. And through that medicine was the vessel of the energy to create worlds with others and the earth.
That through our experiences is how we come to know ourself, and when we know ourself, the more we can have understandings of others.
The more I created space for all of the wounded places to exist in a safe place as self... the more I re-aligned with that innate knowing began to dismantle so much of the bullshit….
I learned the value and importance of our stories and what we have experienced, but that does not define who we are.
Through my addictions that often left me trying to feel something or nothing at all…I discovered the medicine that is within every element, and the difference between using something as an escape, and being present through an honoring of the sacredness within it/me and how we co-created.
Through multiple miscarriages and dealing closely with grief & death… it taught me the sacredness in life’s natural rhythms and cycles… the medicine of our emotions and the DEPTHS of the DEPTHS of ALL and everything in between. How THROUGH IT, the womb of creation and birth & death, that energy is never destroyed, it merely changes forms & we get to continue to let it birth through and birth us. Where the heart & body broke open... to MORE love and understanding than ever thought possible. The more that we can understand ourself and where we are at in those rhythms, the greater Magick we work with in the ebbs and flows…as it’s gently leading us through and to our natural state of being…
which is beyond Magickal.
Through the heaviness of being in the physical body, through rape, betrayal and infidelity.. I learned the power of strength in my body, emotions, soul & spirit… that was the strength to break and fall apart into nothingness so i could be reborn more whole… to allow the shamanic death to arise to the places that couldn’t really exist through the control and molds of others or even versions I believed myself to be… Where the heart broke open to MORE… more of me. More of myself and the ability and importance of learning more about myself, my desires and how i get to keep discovering more of myself and moving forward… not leaving the wounded places behind or discarding them… rather integrating the wounded pieces back & reclaiming my sacred right to be here and take up space. To hear me, to honor myself… to love myself, to live myself and myself and all that I continue to become.
Through these and so many more experiences… I understood how through our life experiences, imprinting, and Ancestral traumas, how easy through survival it was to just want to fade away from body, spirit or both…
what every person TRULY understood that they were here to be FULLY THEMSELF?
And this is a deep part of what I am here to do..
I love working in the Ancestral Matrices because thats where so much of our coding happens. Not just the trauma, but also the deep gifts. The frequencies of medicine that are not meant to stay the same... rather flow through each person and the gift of their being which holds and creates the energy of limitless worlds.
So I am here, to co-create through this specific medicine, integrating and honoring the alchemy and depths of your Human Medicine & soul and everything in between. To repair the broken and damaged light codes in your being so you can restore and free live the wild magick that is you in an integrated way that gets to continue becoming. This transpires and crosses lifetimes, and timelines... it collapses time and creates new timelines, new energy portals, fields & frequencies, interweaving past, present and futures in limitless ways as it's meant to....
The way you are meant to entirely BE YOU. it's the biggest gift to yourself, others & the universe
So thank you for being here... thank you for being